The Dating Thread: The FGC is not the place to get laid

[Vhozite]

3 hours ago, DangerousJ said:

It seems that if you are not white, you have even less chance than an average white guy of getting matches.

Disclaimer: I live in America
 

This is an unfortunate reality but also one of those things that is HIGHLY dependent on your location. 
 

Im black (light skin) and i grew up and live in a suburban area with a diverse population roughly an hour outside Philly. Lots of white people, lots of Hispanic people, lots of black people closer to/in town, lots of asians near the state college, etc you get it. Lots of gay people too if that’s your thing. You can find basically any flavor of person you’re looking for here, and because the area is so diverse you see every kind of couple imaginable so people are pretty opened minded. Here irl ive never felt held back by my skin tone at all. Black women like you, Spanish women like you, and there are plenty of those white girls that like colored dudes too lol. 
 

I work in rural south jersey in small a town with literally one stop light and the script is completely flipped. 90% of the people I see there are white, all my coworkers are white, all the couples I see are white. I swear there is like maybe 5 black people in the whole town. There, the dating preference for white people is palpable. The people are nice enough but I would never move out there because the stark lack of diversity is demoralizing for dating and just uncomfortable in general. Some of these people I’m 100% sure I’m the only colored person they talk to with any kind of regularity. 
 

The one thing that I think is consistent between both areas is online dating. In both places online dating is overwhelmingly white in terms of use base and user base preference. 

Controversial edit:

Spoiler

A lot of dating “preferences” are just thinly veiled white supremacy. Not in a malicious way but in “white beauty standards” are what most people aspire to way.

 

Edited March 30, 2023 by Vhozite

[Pair of Rooks]

Oh yeah there was a time when I held that dumb view that I needed a woman to have the same very male hobbies as I did. 

 

What a dipshit.  Hobbies is what you do when you're apart.  When I'm grinding rank in FGs my wife is trying to figure out some complicated crochet... thing... in the other room.

 

Politics religion money family-planning and a similar sense of humor. Align on these not on your Warhammer minis. 

 

 

[RSG3]

6 hours ago, Pair of Rooks said:

Dating in one's thirties is a bit rough since it's leftovers in every direction

Not picking on you or anyone specifically just more a general comment but it would probably help a lot of people if they stopped with this goofy mind set. 

 

They are people, not left overs. You didn't pull them out of the fridge at 3am lol. 

Edited March 30, 2023 by RSG3

[DoctaMario]

5 minutes ago, RSG3 said:

Not picking on you or anyone specifically just more a general comment but it would probably help a lot of guys if they stopped with this goofy mind set. 

 

They are people, not left overs. You didn't pull them out of the fridge at 3am lol. 

I think what he means is that by that point in their lives, a lot of people have already been married, had kids, and gotten divorced. It's tougher to find a girl who hasn't already been married and had kids when you get to be late 30s/early 40s, especially if you aren't in an A market city.

Edited March 30, 2023 by DoctaMario

[RSG3]

I know what he meant, pretty sure anyway, and like I said it wasn't about him specifically anyway. I think that mindset limits a lot of people from happy relationships because they have this idea they need a..."fresh product" I guess is how to put it. Anyone in their 30s to 40s that doesnt have "left over" baggage usually has other baggage. Like my girl asked why I was almost 40 with no kids, never married, it's because I'm a reclusive hermit who doesn't like to go outside. That means in our relationship most of the time if she wants to do stuff out of the house and she wants me to go she has to drag me, and I dont mean to go shopping or some shit. Like go to the movies, eat out, go to clubs/bars kinda shit/musicslal events. Most girls/women (people in general) want to do that shit. My reclusive nature makes it hard to meet people and when I do they think I'm boring (I probably am.) Thats just a personal example thats been a road block of sorts in my life when it comes to relstionships. 

 

So like everyone has baggage, people aren't left overs, thay mind set holds you back imo. 

Edited March 30, 2023 by RSG3

[Shakunetsu]

First learn what kind of person you are, 

 

If your someone into that can be a nerd/geek or if your someone who loves to jump into popular trends and doesnt stick but easily got bored if they arent fun or appealing anymore. whether your not or the otherwise you are an okay person

 

if your joining a specific hobby to find relationship as a priority or a secondary priority, your not really into the hobby. 

 

Second what kind of relationship you are into and comfortable with.

 

A hook up is different from someone looking into partnership, if you want to find one night stands you need to be physically fit and witty don't expect to much on women that are into commitment and attachment to be easily captivate especially if you are popular with body counts or someone who goes out with multiple woman. yet you would work with witty women that is also for hook ups because they find your personality attractive.

 

Finance is a a bad idea to convince someone to have a relationship with you and hooks ups in the hobby, you'll get easily burned out and results to fatigue.

 

Woman interested on your financial capability are obvious red flag if your nerd or geek. but if your into a hook up that could work.

 

not all the collect toys or play video games are nerds or a geeks nowadays things change especially in modern gaming and collecting. not everyone thats constantly stream games are nerds and geek other than finding men's attention or for business purposes.

 

if your a nerd or geek finding a woman that match you, find someone that is also a nerd or geek 

 

Not someone who into a hobby because they see it as a something interesting because of monetary value and social validation(trends) as the main reason and motivation in the hobby, because one point in your life they will see the things your passionate into being worthless and pointless like your wasting time on non sense a turn off or relationship rift. Because the perspective of you and her/him on contradicts not because of she/him not informed or verse in your hobby but because they see your motivation and reason on enjoying your hobby as a negative and turn off. Common hobby doesn't mean no misunderstanding with relationship regarding the hobby, the better common denominator is finding someone with common motivation not common hobby. 

 

if you like to physically fit and your a gym bro you can also be someone that is nerd or geek same as your hobby same as someone is into cars, it doesn't necessary needs to be gaming and collecting.

 

if your trying to convince your partner that claims also to be a nerd or geek but your using monetary opportunity or social validation to make sense with her/him. expect misunderstanding later again it means you have different motivation on how you value your hobbies and the reason you spend money or time in a hobby. BUT That's entirely different case if you share finances and budget together because your living in one roof because living together isn't a personal situation and that affect your living situation.

 

not every that claims to be passionate into gaming or collecting have the same priorities, motivation and reasons as why you are passionate is. because every one can be passionate but with entirely different motivation like monetary investments, profit or social network.

 

 

 

 

 

[Vhozite]

8 hours ago, RSG3 said:

Snip

I agree that people aren’t “used products” past a certain age, but at the same time I definitely have my deal breakers. Like in 99.9% of cases I wouldn’t date a single mom. Generally speaking I don’t like other peoples kids, I don’t want to deal with the drama that comes with essentially a 3rd parent, and I’m not about the start a relationship where I’m already a 2nd or even 3rd place priority. 
 

I feel you on being a recluse tho it’s a major hurdle for dating. I like working out, working on my cars,  playing games with the bros, and occasionally just doing not-a-damn-thing-that stuff makes me happy. But I tell people about my days/weekends and they talk like they feel bad for me because I didn’t go to a bar on Friday night.

 

Last girl I dated was so fucking needy when it came to activities. Literally every day we had to be doing something, visiting family, or going to some event. She would get so irritated when I would take a nap on Saturday afternoon even tho I worked like 50%+ more hours than her on the average week.

Edited March 30, 2023 by Vhozite

[TWINBLADES]

13 hours ago, Pair of Rooks said:

Oh yeah there was a time when I held that dumb view that I needed a woman to have the same very male hobbies as I did. 

 

What a dipshit.  Hobbies is what you do when you're apart.  When I'm grinding rank in FGs my wife is trying to figure out some complicated crochet... thing... in the other room.

 

Politics religion money family-planning and a similar sense of humor. Align on these not on your Warhammer minis. 

 

 

NO MY WIFE WILL PLAY THE SEXY GIRL IN THE FIGHTING GAME I LIKE HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited March 30, 2023 by TWINBLADES

[Emptyeyes_]

For me, just sleeping around is a defense mechanism to getting too close to people. 

 

Dating itself, I'm psychologically ruined from it, because when you go above and beyond for someone, they've never had my back. I just be wrote off as easy prey for men or women, but for men, it's getting me drunk for sex, and then block me on the same dating app we've talked on. After that, they go about their lives and their families they've established. So, it's at least a few grey areas of sexual assualt with different men last year. However, it's a lesson learnt. I just prefer solitude and being single for good this time.

Edited March 30, 2023 by Emptyeyes_

[DoctaMario]

40 minutes ago, Emptyeyes_ said:

For me, just sleeping around is a defense mechanism to getting too close to people. 

 

 

I have a buddy that this applies to. He got cheated on once a long time ago and I think it really wrecked him. Dude will "date" someone for a minute, but it's basically like, they just hang out, fuck, etc for a few weeks and that's about it. His game is absolutely unreal though, like he could get laid in a morgue.  But when things start to get a little too serious, he's out. It's a shame because he's a good guy and has actually dated some pretty great women.