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The MEGASHOCK Saloon Thread 2.0

Disciple0fAnrky

By Disciple0fAnrky
in General Discussion

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JHDK Level 1

JHDK

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, RSG3 said:

Man i was giving him the benefit of the doubt and thought he meant actual peanuts froma circus. I forgot sbout those horroboe waxy ass peanut shaped candy foam things. Like biting into a memory foam matress l.mao. 

Man, those things tasted like the person who bought them for you wanted you to know that they were willing to spend the money on them just to express how little they actually loved you.

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Reticently Level 16

Reticently

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Sonero said:

Candy Corn was made after the guy who made government cheese was pleased with himself.

Government cheese was secret gourmet tier, and you literally cannot get it now.

 

They used to make it by blending the scrap ends of all the fancy cheeses together.  Literally the best mac-n-cheese ingredient in history, and they don't make it anymore.

Edited by Reticently
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Reticently Level 16

Reticently

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, JHDK said:

Candy corn is the parsley of Halloween.

You know what?  I can at least cook some pretty good shit where parsley plays a role.  Candy corn is fucking useless.

 

Imagine how bad WASP cooking in America must have been for a hundred years for anybody to even think candy corn was a treat in comparison:

 

 "Oh great, mom burned the shit out of pan fried unseasoned pork chops again.  Thank fucking god there's candy corn to scrape the aftertaste out of my mouth."

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KingTubb Level 11

KingTubb

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Reticently said:

Candy corn is fucking useless.

Y'all aren't listening, mix it with peanuts. I don't work for The Earl Corn of Candy. I personally think that on it's own, candy corn is only useful for finding cavities and gluing on hand turkeys your kid draws for a beak. 

 

But with peanuts, it's a damn fine treat. 

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JHDK Level 1

JHDK

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Reticently said:

You know what?  I can at least cook some pretty good shit where parsley plays a role.  Candy corn is fucking useless.

 

Imagine how bad WASP cooking in America must have been for a hundred years for anybody to even think candy corn was a treat in comparison:

 

 "Oh great, mom burned the shit out of pan fried unseasoned pork chops again.  Thank fucking god there's candy corn to scrape the aftertaste out of my mouth."

I honestly would rather scrape the lining out of my mouth than subject it to candy corn.

 

Candy corn is regret you can taste just by looking at it.

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GetTheTables Level 8

GetTheTables

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Reticently said:

Imagine how bad WASP cooking in America must have been for a hundred years for anybody to even think candy corn was a treat in comparison:

I think this is apt. Traditional WASP cooking is categorized by its complete lack of seasoning and flavor. When everything you eat tastes like cardboard you need something with the pure corn syrup shock factor of candy corn just to remind you that flavor as a concept exists.

 

My ex-wife's extended family provided side dishes for Thanksgiving one year. I've never had bad mac and cheese before in my life; never even thought it could happen. Learned a valuable lesson that day.

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JHDK Level 1

JHDK

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, Dayaan said:

Too much. In reality the least racist food is peanut butter.

Exactly.

 

But peanut butter is a homicidal cunt towards me.

 

Really, the least racist food is fish. It crosses all cultures and ethnicities, except maybe Tibet. Even pizza.

 

Which bring us back 'round to the fact that if you're complaining about fish on pizza, it probably was not prepped properly.

 

Pro tip: if your pizza comes to you soggy, it is more than likely because the restaurant dumped anchovies in spring water on top on it, and you really need to start questioning your parlor choices.

Edited by JHDK
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Dayaan Level 13

Dayaan

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, KingTubb said:

Sorry man, it's racist too

Fuck, fuck fuck.

 

4 minutes ago, JHDK said:

Which bring us back 'round to the fact that if you're complaining about fish on pizza, it probably was not prepped properly.

Bitch... Shut the fuck up. This man is putting sardines on mozzarella. Man is eating out of the gutter. Man is swimming in the ocean, getting shat in the face by sperm whales. Disgusting!!

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JHDK Level 1

JHDK

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, KingTubb said:

And coffee, for that matter:

https://www.heifer.org/blog/newsworthy/rooted-in-racism-coffees-bitter-origins.html

True.

 

Also true: I will not let the past stand in the way of my cup of Joe, nor dictate my enjoyment of it.

 

I shall dance like an epileptic Capo, justifying his Bolsonaro vote to defend my mug of black.

 

I am all for reparations in the form of the descendants of the oppressed taking over Starbucks. They can only make it better.

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JHDK Level 1

JHDK

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Dayaan said:

Fuck, fuck fuck.

 

Bitch... Shut the fuck up. This man is putting sardines on mozzarella. Man is eating out of the gutter. Man is swimming in the ocean, getting shat in the face by sperm whales. Disgusting!!

Refine yourself, my good man.

 

Also, dear Gollum, cook your damned fish before you apply it to your precious pie.

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